It is 8:50 a.m. in Lagos, Nigeria, and the only thing I have seen since I woke up is my monitor screen, trying to fix an issue I went to bed with, woke up to complete, and then move on to the next task. It quickly became chaotic internally when I asked myself one simple question: “What do you do after you complete this?”
Then I remembered that a man is only as useful as his purpose, whether immediate or long-term. Drive comes from purpose; motivation is only a burst in the arsenal, and discipline is just a tool to achieve it. What is the essence of being motivated if there is no purpose behind it?
The problem with purpose is that; some days, especially at the early stage, you don’t see the next step. You’re drifting, doing Lord knows what, your mind in chaos like mine, asking: “What am I to do next that will yield a productive impact in the near future? Is what I am doing right now even productive?”
Steve Jobs once said, “You can only connect the dots looking backward.” Maybe this applies when you’re already at the point you want to be, at the reach of your purpose; where you can finally see everything you’ve worked for and chiseled your way through to actualize. But what happens when you can only look forward in the moment, since the past doesn’t make sense and you can’t see beyond the present?
The future is non-existent, just a figment of who you want to be, or what you want to become. Some call this delusion, others call it a dream, and sometimes it even feels like delirium. Your steps toward your goal are hard to make sense of. You plan, replan, unplan, then plan again. Everything seems in place at one point, and suddenly it isn’t.
I know what I want to become, but my fight to become it is proving more difficult than I anticipated, and I am seriously running out of time.
Today, I planned to write an article on system accounts and Program Derived Accounts (PDA), implementing a vault in Anchor to highlight the difference. I can’t see anything beyond that once I’m done. I should probably just keep chiseling away, and maybe the next step will come sooner than expected. Who knows, maybe I’ll even feel motivated to edit my videos and finally start my YouTube channel.
Let’s see how far I can go with this and hit the purpose juice like everyone I look up to.
So today, I'll finish the article, make good food and chisel forward regardless